Thursday, April 17, 2008

The Beach


I’ve taken to going to the beach, surrounded by the like minded with my headphones on, blasting out the noise, the conversations of the people around me. I can’t take listening to ‘them’ anymore; the conversations about nothing, the expressions of want, the gossip, the internalized hatred so many have.

The things I hear are nothing but the ego making itself apparent. The point is proven with every new muse I find, and for that, I understand. I’ve battled with my ego all my life. I know the constant struggle.

I’m not inspired by people anymore; it’s been a while since my peers could do anything but become filler in my past time, or reinforce my need to separate myself from all this damage.

I don’t mean to be raw or harsh, or even superior about it all, but I don’t know, I just don’t feel many connections, or if I do, it derogates into these failures, into people I no longer understand or care to learn from. When I dig deeper, I tend to see too much and then become disappointed.
So yes, human understanding; I understand them plenty. But unfortunately it's viewed through the eyes of a cynic.

I think it’s me getting older. I mean, the older I get, and the more I feel that I need a break. I just need to throw myself into a tank where no stimuli could enter. I could feed off of my thoughts, and sooner or later, just have the nothingness I so long to feel, around me.

I said this in my previous post, but the whole world has been brainwashed by accomplishment. They all want the ‘six figure income’ and the promises of a lifestyle that the illusionary masses have. It’s not my world…

In the distance I can see a ship. There are crates upon crates of cargo containing all the useless things we consume. The ship, wow, it’s a’ long one. I’d say about 10 stories or so in apartment speak. I can’t tell you the furlongs, or whichever way boats are measured for that knowledge is lost to the common man.

The lower part of the ship has a large, light blue strop running parallel to an identical strip of red. The two lines of color span the entire length of the ship. I guess it’s to separate it from people who actually have some history with this vessel, an identifier.

The background… Oh it’s such a beautiful place to life. In the background I see snow capped mountains. I see the Olympic Mountains in all their glory. I see the wall that separates one city from another. I see myself on them at times, watching the view while huddling next to a light fire. There’s beauty in this country. I mean, you won’t find it right away but when you have a mental repositioning, you’ll start seeing things more clearly.

It’s too bad I am surrounded by irony.

I wonder how many people actually take everything in.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Untitled



I never understood commercials. I mean, yeah, I understand how they make money, and how they convince the watching public that this is something they need, for either status or necessity, but why not advertise other things?

Instead of watching the next model of the new BMW sedan, in its cold and calculated approach, in its “this is what will make you live and be noticed” mentality, why not show a commercial about people who do good things?

I’d love to see uplifting messages, or tips on how to be a better person, or good deeds done throughout the world. I wonder how that would change the mindless views attitudes and outlooks. Replace a negative with a positive, and yeah, who knows…. There’s no money to be made, but redemption would be just around the corner.

That’s not our world though. They will stick to the buying, and the owning, and the showing; I wonder how I fit into such a mindless society. How can I wake up each day and pretend that everything is ok, when the reality of it is, I should be protesting on the streets denouncing the evils in the world.

What happened to spirituality? Or the denouncement of the ego? The sins of the flesh? What ever happened to our values?

I tell you; every time I see a new condo go up I become that much more repulsed by the strangers that surround me.

If this society is going to make it, we have to start thinking and living a certain way.

Wars are waged because of greed – sometimes ownership, or profit – it’s rarely fanatical anymore. We are not living in a world of emperors seeking the next conquest; our wars are fought with profit in mind. With the global economy teetering in the balance of who owns what, I think we are starting to see the motivations of our leaders.

So yeah, I feel awful every time I think about it. I’d like to just pack up, sell everything I’ve accumulated over the past five years, besides a few memories and books, and head out to the desert on my own. It would be very “into the wild”; although I don’t think I’d go around shooting animals and stuff. Yet, the world I live in doesn’t accommodate this.

The desert isn’t free anymore. There’s ownership, and permits, and space allotted to the people who abide by these rules. It seems like the world is be compartmentalized and rented out to the highest bidders. I know I’m just being bitter about it all because there’s nothing I can do. I can make my own statement and watch the glazed over looks I get from people who are already too entwined in the ‘systems’ around us. I could watch that, but it would only attribute to my sadness.

I’m going on a journey soon and it's going to be awesome.


You’ll see.


** We get no second chance in this life