I rode a horse this weekend and was labeled as a natural. Do you know how good that feels? I mean, I knew I would be a great horse rider; I could just tell that as soon as I sat on a horse I would know what to do. We have this psychic connection, you know? It's as if the horse knew I was a good guy and decided to let me take control.
I spent this Saturday helping out on a farm. My downstairs neighbor Alice invited me to go out and I decided to go - spur of the moment of course. When I arrived, the first thing I noticed was the view; they live on a massive farm with the mountains in Washington as the backdrop. All I could see was the rolling hills of grass and farmland mixed with a mountainous range that still retain elements of snow.
The second thing I noticed was the abundance of women. The farm was filled with about eight or nine women working together, communicating, being emotional, and looking great - I guess that's what women do. A few were lipstick lesbians sporting low cut shirts, with breasts, long flowing hair, smiles; they were gods, Amazonian wonders. And I was shy for the first time in a very long time. I was out of my element and I think considered shy and uneventful.
At first - because I am now assuming this is a lesbian dude ranch - they were a bit taken aback by seeing me. I am sure I was labeled as the straight guy who was checking out Becky's jugs. I was a little apprehensive and picked up on the energy at the ranch. They were definitely guarded towards me and I knew right then and there society still has a lot of differences we don't see outright.
My daily chores consisted of digging out a trench to redirect some water, digging another trench to hide some wiring - note: I was digging horse hit, and also setting up a watering area and redirecting a hose. One of the women on the farm wanted to make it clear that she was a lesbian. I guess, maybe, they thought I was really into all the hot chicks working the farm, but I then quickly responded, "Yeah, I know, I'm gay, and it's no big deal". Her eyes lit up and a smile appears on the corners of her mouth.
The delightful part of the conversation was seeing how a lesbian's demeanor can change. In fact, it was delightful seeing how all the women responded to me after I was ousted. They smiled, they hugged, and I was now openly accepted into this environment of women who were initially guarded. I was one of the girls!
Later in the day, after all the chores were completed, I dress up as a jockey. I have the hat, a pair of farm jeans and boots, and I proceed to take this large white pony out on the tracks. From first seeing the horse I could tell he was shy. He was nervous around me initially and would look away when I addressed him. I could also tell he was stubborn.
Riding him was great although whenever the other horses came around he would disobey me and follow the pack. They are pack animals and it's something inbreed. I think I need to be more forceful with him to relay the point that I am the master. So I grab a stick - I don't' hurt him - but he knows I have a stick which accidentally grazed him once and caused him to jump.
At first - because I am now assuming this is a lesbian dude ranch - they were a bit taken aback by seeing me. I am sure I was labeled as the straight guy who was checking out Becky's jugs. I was a little apprehensive and picked up on the energy at the ranch. They were definitely guarded towards me and I knew right then and there society still has a lot of differences we don't see outright.
My daily chores consisted of digging out a trench to redirect some water, digging another trench to hide some wiring - note: I was digging horse hit, and also setting up a watering area and redirecting a hose. One of the women on the farm wanted to make it clear that she was a lesbian. I guess, maybe, they thought I was really into all the hot chicks working the farm, but I then quickly responded, "Yeah, I know, I'm gay, and it's no big deal". Her eyes lit up and a smile appears on the corners of her mouth.
The delightful part of the conversation was seeing how a lesbian's demeanor can change. In fact, it was delightful seeing how all the women responded to me after I was ousted. They smiled, they hugged, and I was now openly accepted into this environment of women who were initially guarded. I was one of the girls!
Later in the day, after all the chores were completed, I dress up as a jockey. I have the hat, a pair of farm jeans and boots, and I proceed to take this large white pony out on the tracks. From first seeing the horse I could tell he was shy. He was nervous around me initially and would look away when I addressed him. I could also tell he was stubborn.
Riding him was great although whenever the other horses came around he would disobey me and follow the pack. They are pack animals and it's something inbreed. I think I need to be more forceful with him to relay the point that I am the master. So I grab a stick - I don't' hurt him - but he knows I have a stick which accidentally grazed him once and caused him to jump.
There is nothing more rewarding then riding a great beast that has survived throughout the ages. I was propped up in the air, feeling like a giant, and watching the beauty that surrounded me with tranquility. This will be one of the times in my life when I can look back and smile.
We rode for a while and I think I developed a relationship with this unknown. I want to ride horses again and work on the farm. I want to learn how to be a farm hand because who knows what the future will hold. I may just have to revert back to that style of living once global warming completely destroys our environment. I might as well cover all the bases, I think.
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