Relationship Update

The world is so pale next to you.

Brad and I aren’t moving forward; in fact because of our busy schedules we are now taking a step back. He only wants to see me on the weekends and he has stated that he ‘wants to have his cake and eat it to’. I’m not sure how to handle this. Do I want to be a weekend guy?

We went to a party together this weekend and there was this really hot couple hanging out. I was introduced to one of the guys, and I also flirted indirectly with his boyfriend. They both were masculine, and the boyfriend, who I didn’t talk to, had a beard; I guess I could say he was REALLY my type. The temptation was very difficult. I couldn’t help but notice him and want to be with him. And I guess now that we are taking a step back in our relationship, I wonder, should I? Is this what I really want? Should I say fuck it and inquire about bearded guy and his bf? I mean, nothing would come of it anyway. And I think the only way I would be interested is if he were single. So why even bother?

I think the point I am trying to make is, I am very pissed off about where this is going. I though we were doing so well and then I get blindsided by him. I know he still likes me, and I know that he is in to me, and I also understand his schedule and the things he needs to resolve in his life, but at the same time I guess I don't feel as needed or appreciated as I would like. When I am with someone, they should be willing to be there for me any day of the week, not just weekends. It sucks because I have opened myself up to him and now, when I actually want to spend time with him, he pulls away.

The man in me is still fucked. I am one hundred percent committed but the one thing I can’t stand is temptation. It wasn’t like this before in my previous relationship. I all wanted was my partner and the thought of other men didn’t even cross my mind. Now, it’s different…