Babies

They are ewey, gooey good.

I am surrounded by families and children. I think society is changing, and the young adult no longer values marriage and procreation. I look to my friends and I see constant marriages and babies. Updates consisting of "Ainsley has six teeth now", or "Josh is crawling", and "my wedding dress is lace". Seriously, who cares? Once you have a kid, life is finito. Over! There's no take backs. I guess in a way, I'd like to experience it also. People think because I'm gay that I cannot have a child. I hate limitations! I think when I hit my thirties and have more financial room; I will adopt a child or find a surrogate mother. Than I too can contribute to a society gone wrong and hopefully raise a kid that's pretty decent and well read.

The facade; the illusion we are living in isn't deteriorating; it's becoming more and more popular. I always though a marriage is a business agreement. It will help me buy a piece of real estate; someone else to plan the dinner party; someone who can share clothes. A marriage of love, something I thought I would have, but now, I guess I have grown far too cynical. I cannot settle for someone I am not totally into, I've had it once, and am still searching for it again. I have realized it doesn't come along very often...so I'd rather not entertain a loveless marriage.

Today I’m meh. I haven’t had a cigarette, projects are coming along, but at the same time I feel utterly disconnected. I don’t know what I’m feeling right now, nor do I want to explore it. I think one major issue is a person on my project who keeps ranting, “we cannot do it in time”. It’s annoying me. I hate hearing the word can’t, and negativity doesn’t motivate me. Luckily she will be away this weekend so we can all prove this chick wrong. Jesus, who wants to hear can’t!