Gone to Earth

Tonight was very interesting. My gym friend Steve called me (also my next door neighbor) and asked me to head over. We went out to the temple along with Mickey and had a few drinks. I find it intriguing to meet some new people, and get their perspectives outside of the bar environment.

It's not so bad. As of four years ago, I would say everyone was cold and clicky, but it's really not the case. We are not different, no better, no worse. We are all thinking, reactive, and philosophical individuals.

I talked to Russ. He was quite drunk but insinuated there are some feelings still between us. I think I disagree, and it's not because I'm writing in this more visible environment. I tried, I learned, and I have realized that he has to loosen up and work on himself before he could accept others. The only thing I want out of it is a friendship...which could take years because our two personality types.

He actually said something that struck a chord though, I am more guarded than himself...I think he is right. I mean, I didn't invite him over, I am anal, I am uptight, and maybe we aren't that much different. Fuck, I'm fucked up like Russ!

I guess I have to invite him over now. I am not sure how, or what I could do, maybe get him to come over, than we go for a walk? This is far too complicated, but maybe this threw him for a loop when we actually dated. Maybe I don't understand myself at all. I realize there are some things I still have to let go of.

I love what I know about passion,
I love what I know about mercy.
I love what I know about patience,
I love what I know about soul.
And I know you.

I tell all my friends that I'm bound for heaven,
and if it ain't so, ya can't blame me for living.
I know what it's like, and it's worth this misfortune
know what it's like on the other side.
At least 20 years, I have loved one thing only.