A classic move

SUNDAY MORNINGS ARE AWESOME. Usually I wake and open up the curtains to review the Victoria Art Gallery, with myself in the front window in some white underwear. Sunday mornings I am usually drastically tired and hung over.

I have a pretty sexy apartment. Although, my impression of it is a lot different than other people's perspective. It's clean and tidy, and things are in order. I have a few pieces of original art work, it makes me happy...art is a dying passion. I so wish that more people would drop some money into the creative arts business - it's a reflection of their personality.

I always get so nervous about inviting people over. It’s a mirror into your soul really. During this initial apartment viewing - where people go from room to room and internally critique or admire you humble abode - you are on guard. “Ok ok, I cleaned a little, but I assure you I'm usually more clean (anal?)”, or “Hey, I just moved here six months ago so it’s a work in progress - gawd I love it so much”, and “I know the kitchen is small, but look at the view it's awesome”, and so on. I love it though. I just want some feedback. I’d like to hand out some comment sheets where people could score you on being hip, cultured, the lack or abundance of personality, it's cleanliness, and such things.


It was fun though, and I realize I do have a good space for entertaining. Once I bring more people into my life that mesh well together, I will start using my space to have company…but I’m so goddamn scared. That perfectionist in me - he’s so hard to let loose. The Capricorn in me will forever ride my ass. Maybe I’ll just buy a pile of coke and keep snorting up when I entertain. It will take the edge of and allow me to be the social butterfly I can be without worry.

After I've gained my bearings after waking in the morning, I proceed to the computer to put on some folk music. Today, I played some Innocence Mission, Kate Bush, The Perishers, and whatever else was picked up on random which I head for the kitchen.

I'm not a brunch person. I'd prefer to make my own breakfast on the weekends - unless of course I have company and I don't feel like impressing anyone. I usually have an espresso drink of some sort - a latte or cappuccino, some eggs, toast, yogurt, hopefully some fruit but it depends on whether or not I picked up groceries. A good breakfast is essential for the start of the day.

Today I'm heading to Goldstream national park to hike Mount Finlayson. I'm really hung over too so it should be an arduous journey but of immense reward. I got home at around 5 in the morning after having my friends Jill and Jacob over to my place. We were rocking it! At the end of the night Jacob and I head to Justin’s place for some drinks with some other guys. It was fun, but there was an obnoxious straight guy talking about pop culture – television shows, Alf trivia, etc so I kind of got peeved and started up a conversation about multi variable calculus, vectors, matrices, and it seemed to have shut the whole room up.

When we leave the party at around 5ish, I noticed that Jacob is standing at the door without his shoes. Hmmm, ok I understand he idolizes me, and has a new years resolution to be more fun, but the humorous part is that this is a very “classic move” for me. No worries, glad he had fun, but the subtle movements, the gracefulness associated with being a modern age gay – not to be confused with meterosexuals or trannies – is to introduce some tact into one's life; seperation from the things we detest in the gay world... He’s learning though, and it was funny, and I’m sure I will hear about it today.

I’m glad he’s making strides. You can really see a difference Jake! I really must say it has grown into a friendship and I'm glad! I'm glad that I'm not walking as alone in this life anymore.

-- I will find a center in you, I will chew it up and leave