Postcards from the Edge

... that's it, I've quit. This time I've really quit. I'm not smoking anymore. If someone came up and offered me a cigerette I wouldn't do it. I doubt that anyone will offer it to me, though. No one offers cigerettes anymore. It used to be a way that people got friendly, sharing a few hoots, but now everyone hoards their cigerettes.

My first party without a cigerette. Interesting. I mean, when I was a little kid I always went to birthday parties straight, but that was a while ago.

I wonder if anyone here even has any cigerettes. That guy Dean looks like he might, he usually has some. I loathe that guy, but he always has the best brand.

No, I promised myself I would not smoke any cigerettes, because that last time was such a nightmare and... but it was fun in the beginning. Sometimes it's fun. I don't know, Freud did it, so how bad could it be?

But this is new to me. I'm totally on a health kick. I have not had any cigerettes in 10 days. I don't even like it anymore. I never really did like it, I just did it 'cause it was around. And I don't think I was really heavy into it, not like Dean over there. Dean is really really into cigerettes. I would say he's got a problem. He can't stop. Well, sometimes he stops for a while, but he can't stay stopped. I really think I can. I think I have willpower, I just haven't used it in a while.

I've been inspired by Carrie Fischer's Postcards from the Edge. It's such a funny, great, little book dealing with addiction. And I can totally relate since I am in that same head space right now.